Stepping Into Royalty

Stepping Into Royalty

I walked in silence through the bamboo forest. Zhejiang, China. Peaceful day.

Quiet. Beautiful. Suddenly finding myself in a conversation with God, tears rushing out like the waterfall on the path.

Say goodbye, Corrie.
No, how could I?
Say goodbye?
No, what do you mean?
What do you mean?
Like a funeral.
That time is over. That season is over.
Remember the good things, Corrie.
Remember what I did in that season.
Remember who he was to you in that season.
Remember the things I was to you through him in that season.
It was good, Corrie.
It was me.
I had so much good for you in that season, I want you reflect on it.
But God, it’s painful.
It’s so painful.
I don’t want to face all of that.
I miss so many things about us.
About You in us.
I know. I know.
God, I’m so tired.
I’m tired of this tension.
Tired of this sadness.
Tired of this longing.
Tired. Tired.
I want to be free.

Corrie, you are.
Remember what I spoke to you, Corrie. Remember.
There is a higher calling. If you choose it.
There is a word. I released a vision. Do you believe it will be fulfilled?
That it is being fulfilled?
That I am the God of the impossible?

So now I find myself here. Out of the bamboo forest, following God’s voice to the edge of a new season, a new chapter. A crossroads. Memories coming in waves. Memories from these last two years. Now fresh in my mind.

That first Christmas in crisis, 2010, praying with two friends in the US, and a picture of calm in the storm coming to mind for one of them. She said,

“Corrie, I sense God saying that he has a royal calling for you, in relationship with Him, in his kingdom. He has a deep level of faith He is offering you.

A level of intimacy with Him.
A place where more resources are accessed.
His heart.
Setting captives free.

You don’t have to choose it. It will be a painful road, a painful journey. Sacrifice. But there will be great reward. Great intimacy with Him.”

I chose this. I choose this. I keep choosing this. Level after level of surrender. Deeper and deeper. Waves getting higher. Calmness deeper.

I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.
Philippians 4:11

Whatever the circumstances

Yes, that is a royal calling. So aware of My presence that you just see up, not down, not in front of you.

Every problem, every conflict, every ounce of pain… an opportunity for training. Awake, awake, arise. Step into the place of royalty. Of strength. Of victory in the battle. Problems are opportunities to experience Me.

Reflecting back to 2011. Walking through life reading Hinds’ Feet on High Places (by Hannah Hurdard)… the journey of the main character “Much-Afraid” mirroring my own in an uncanny way. I got to this page in the book and my heart stopped, my world quiet. My world His:

Detour through the Desert

“Abraham was the first of my servants to come this way…then came Joseph, with tears and anguish of heart, and looked upon it too and learned the lesson of the furnace of fire. Since that time an endless succession of My people have come this way.

They came to learn the secret of royalty, and now you are here, Much-Afraid. You, too, are in the line of succession.

It is a great privilege, and if you will, you also may learn the lesson of the furnace and of the great darkness just as surely as did those before you.

Those who come down to the furnace go on their way afterwards as royal men and women, princes and princesses of the Royal Line.”

I choose this world. Your world, God. I choose to listen to your voice, God. I choose to walk by faith and not by sight. For a purpose bigger than just me. I choose to be immersed in Your reality. To find my hope there. Not in a person. Not in an outcome.

You restore me. You heal me. You equip me for this fight. You call me your warrior princess, daughter of the King.

Now to you who believe…you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. 1 Peter 2:7,9

Goodbye to the former things.

The prison of fear I lived in.
The idol of my husband I clung to.

Stepping into royalty. My true identity, truly free.
I will not be shaken.



Stepping Into Royalty — 9 Comments

  1. Do not fear, for I am with you; do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10. He is upholding you with that hand. No matter how arduous the road gets, keep clinging in joy and thankfulness to That hand. He’s proud of you, Phoenix.

    • Wow – yes… I so easily get stuck looking all around me anxiously (I think we all tend to get stuck there) and doing EVERYTHING else before I just simply go to Him. But when I do…finally… He PULLS me out of that anxiety with sometimes just a tiny gesture so shockingly simple and quick, that I’m so amazed I didn’t go to Him in the first place. Thank you so much for sharing that awesome verse.


  2. I love the “new chapter” you find yourself in, sis. While the path may be lined with pain, it is paved with His goodness and his amazing blessings for you. It is so exciting to see you experience His best time and time again; I yearn for the same level of spiritual intimacy in my life. Thank you time and again for the encouragement of faith you pour into my life. I am truly blessed to have you as a sibling.

    • Tears flowing today, but joy that followed. Both so strongly in the same season.

      Stepping into this deeper intimacy with God is so fulfilling. There are times too where I just want things to change NOW and on MY terms. Not so. He knows best. And He wants to be the MAIN object of my intimacy, not any wishful thoughts, or other things I might try to CRAM into my life to satisfy my own needs. God knows better. I surrender. again and again.

      You’re right – it’s a journey of pain and goodness. . . together. Grateful that you are encouraged. I love you, bro!


    • Exactly! It’s funny how sometimes the thing I get most scared of is exactly that – my tendency to rely on myself, on my own abilities, on my own desire for comfort and predictability and affirmation. To get those latter three things in particular, in the way that I see fit, instead of waiting on God and trusting that HE knows my needs and desires better than I do. I’m learning! He is good! Thanks for your comment.


  3. Thank you for sharing, Corrie. Stepping into royalty reminds me of 1 Corinthians 10:13. Nothing is bigger than our God! He is forever faithful and you cannot go wrong with HIM. Keep moving forward!

    • Whoa! I just looked up that verse:

      No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.

      This is so encouraging. He is offers a way to be joyful always, to be content always, and to not be overtaken by any trial.

      Thank you, Linda!


  4. Corrie. Thank you for encouraging me and for being a role model even though you are so far away. Your courage to share and to choose God and love and His royalty is incredible. I miss you and the sanctuary.

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