Standing

Standing

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. ~ Ephesians 6:12-13

Here I am, God.
Standing.
I’ve been standing for over 2 years.
Fighting.
Longing.
Crying.
Waiting.
Catching glimpse after glimpse of Your world. standing for marriage
The Spirit realm.
A place of beauty, of restoration, of wholeness.
Your kingdom
Come to earth.
I’m here and I taste it.
I’m here and I feel it.
Dipping and dipping, again and again
In your stream.
Refreshed, healed, moved to tears that flow in joy,

Stream, Corrie Van Velzer

Flow in sadness, flow in longing.
Waiting for my outcome.
It’s what I want most!

Or is it?
Is it… anymore?
My idol. My blanket. My security.
Gone for so long now, so long.
And in this world, no sign of return.
Only deeper and deeper entrenchment into a place
Permanently out of my life.
How could it be?
How could it be?
How could it be?
My love, my best friend.
The one I’ve seen in those glimpses
So many times.
Restored. Healed. Beaming Your light of Truth.
So WHY, God?
Why did you show me those glimpses? So many times?
Those dreams, those visions?
The REALITY of Your world.
Bigger than this world.
More real than this world.
Why lead me that way… to now sense that the chapter might be closing?
Why?
Why?
Why?
You restored once. You can restore again.
Why?
Why?
Why?
I’ve been standing, God! I’ve done EVERYTHING You asked me to.
I’ve waited.
I’ve stood.
Here I am, God.
Do you want me to keep standing?
You know I will.
I will only stand with You.
Obey You.
Move forward with You.
My hand in Your hand.
How do I move forward. . . ?
I know it can’t be in defeat.

standing for marriage

Corrie,
I win. I won. I HAVE victory.
I have poured my victory… into you, onto you, through you, around you.
Permanently.
It is reality.
You have learned to walk in My reality.
My victory.
My kingdom come now
To earth.
Standing is about me.

Blackness around me.
Then pinpricks of light.
Coming through the dark abyss.
Beautiful beams, streaming through.
Patches to bathe in.
Soaking, soaking, soaking.
Changing, changing, changing.
Learning to see that light.Standing for marriage
Recognize it. Stand in it.
The kingdom.
Your Kingdom.
Come. Coming. Here.
That’s where I am standing.
I see it!
It’s You!
For two years, it’s about…
Yes. I see it.
Outcome was my entry point.
The fuel, driving me, for so long…
Desperate
Longing
Seeking
Straining

Standing for marriageNow I’m here with You.
I’m surrounded by light.
I’m so warm.
I love this place, with You.
Better than any place I’ve been before.
My clinging fingers loosen their grasp.
On outcome.

I watch it slip away.
My love, my best friend.
My tears flow.
My love pours out.
It’s ok.
It’s ok.
It’s ok.
It would have been great.
It would have been Truth.
It was right to stand. It is where You wanted me.
So I stood.
And bathed in the light.
Here I am.
Here I am.
Here I am.
Standing. For Truth. In Truth.
In obedience.
Chasing light and victory.
Letting go of outcome
Only You knew the time.
My time is now.
The door of my heart is closing…
To outcome.
I see a new story, unfolding for my life.
You are showing me.
Standing for marriageBrilliant, so beautiful.
The tapestry flips.
Just like that.

Well done, I feel You say.
My work is complete.
You are free to move forward.

So my love pours out…
One last time.
It’s only love now.
No more anger, no more bitterness, no more biting pain.

Goodbye, outcome.
Could this be real? Could this be right?
Yes, there’s peace here. Life here. Victory here.
A shift.
I find myself writing goodbye.
My love, my best friend.
I will always remember the beauty,
The light
The wonder
That we shared with Him, with each other.
His love for you I felt, overflowing. I feel, overflowing.
May you find and choose joy, victory, and light… on your journey.
Our story is not over, but our union, it is.
Now I walk forward, in a new direction.
There is victory ahead, for me, for you, and all around. Standing for marriage

Corrie,
I win. I won. I HAVE victory.
I have poured my victory… into you, onto you, through you, around you.
Permanently.
It is reality.
You have learned to walk in My reality.
My victory.
My kingdom come now
To earth.
Standing is about me.

Ok, God.
Here I am.
Standing.
Standing.
I’m still standing.

I am the Lord; that is my name! I will not yield my glory to another or my praise to idols. See, the former things have taken place, and new things I declare; before they spring into being I announce them to you. ~ Isaiah 42:8-9Standing for marriage

 

 


Comments

Standing — 3 Comments

  1. Amazing Cor…I truly have no words. I am sitting here with tears streaming down my face (of course). I am so proud of you; so in awe of God. I am honored to know you…lots and lots and lots of love!

  2. Amen! This is an awesome poem of victory!! I’m thrilled for you and where God has led you on this journey. You are free!!

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