The Dawn Breaks
Coming home from work, a normal day.
Water bottle… Headphones… Check.
The whir of the treadmill.
The waves of my pain, frustration, anger.
Why God? When will this pain end?
How could this be happening?
Where are You?
Walking, singing, walking, stomping, raging, walking, yelling, singing.
Waiting for the sunrise
Waiting for the day
Waiting for a sign that I’m where you want me to be
You know my heart is heavy, and the hurt is deep…
Here I am.
Looking out the window from my Faith room.
Sorry I’m loud, neighbors.
I can’t help it.
My whole life is coming undone, changing.
God, show me where you are in this.
Walking, singing, walking singing.
I looked down to notice my cell phone lighting up.
My eyes scanned the words of a new text:
“Corrie, after the night, the dawn breaks. I really enjoyed meeting you.”
Then I heard it…
A part of the song playing that very moment:
I can see the dawn is breaking.
I am feeling overtaken
With your love
With your love
I don’t know what I can offer
In this moment I surrender
To Your Love
My heart was already beating fast.
Step, step, step.
Did she really just text those words? At that moment?
The dawn breaks.
This new friend and I had been talking briefly about starting women’s groups at her restaurant in Shanghai.
A place for women to share their lives, their hearts, their stories, with no pretense.
Just sharing real life.
And here I am now with You, God. In this moment.
Hearing Your voice.
A raw and intimate moment.
I’m amazed how You know my heart. You know what’s on my mind.
You know how I tick.
You know I was wondering whether or not to pursue this opportunity to start this group.
And now I have my nudge from You.
Move forward. I’m in this. I’m with you, Corrie. I see you.
That’s all I need.
You’re here with me.
My marriage has come undone. My identity shaken and stripped to its core.
A hellish and painful night, but now…
A new dawn is breaking.
You have a plan for me.