Looking up

I live in the tension of two realities – one supernatural and one natural. In the natural, I’m easily scared. Weak, fearful, anxious, looking at my broken marriage and doubling over in pain, twisted and uncertain.

Then I look up.
I blink.
And I breathe in.

There you are, God. This is reality. It is the supernatural. The place of knowing
how immeasurably loved I am. I am free. I am joy-filled. I’m having a massive party in the presence of my enemies who seek to whisper in my ear that I’m alone.

I’m not alone.

I’m part of a supernatural and massive story that has connected with me with dozens of people across these two years of massive life shift. People who have poured Life into me. People I have poured Life into.

People, circumstances and experiences that were synchronized and beautifully written as notes, rests, and measures on a musical score, a tapestry of His kingdom.

As the conductor, God is trustworthy to compose music that infuses Life, abundant Life, into his beloved creation, music that is especially joyful when the natural reality looks and feels bleak, confusing, and Life-threatening.

I can’t go back.
I won’t go back.
The natural is not the complete picture.

Let me stay in this place, looking up.
All around, in wonder.

Hearing the music of Your heart.
Seeing the restoration of broken hearts.
In a broken world.

Your kingdom come.
On earth, as it is in Heaven.



Looking up — 6 Comments

  1. I love that idea of looking up. So many times we get mired in the horizontal stuff of this world and we need a kingdom “upward” perspective to remind us to whom we belong and who will deliver us from the muck of this life.

    • Amen! I love the glimpses we get into the supernatural realm. Keeps us walking strong and confident. The way you phrased your comment reminded me of Psalm 40: I waited patiently for the Lord. He turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire. He set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song on my lips…
      I pray for more glimpses for you into the kingdom this week. I love you, bro!

  2. You are NOT alone. Thank you for sharing your life and your journey through this site. Prayers and love coming your way. May God continue to meet you each and every day as you seek to move….farther UP and farther in! Hugs!

    • Amy! Great to hear from you, and share the journey! Thank you for your prayers. God is pulling me up. Every day. My good friend used the simple but fun analogy of God pulling his shirt forward from the front every day. I love that. His guidance, His hand on our lives. Direction, guidance, and perspective from God. I don’t want to do life any other way. I miss you, friend! Thank you for your encouragement.

  3. Corrie, Thank You for sharing your vulnerability and faith in the midst of your journey. Your reaching for God and all that He is in the midst of your pain and confusion is very beautiful, precious and powerful.
    We will worship God in perfection for eternity, but never again will we have opportunity to glorify Him as the Sovereign and Good Lord from the midst of our suffering and confusion. I have been greatly encouraged reading your words. No, you can’t go back. There is nowhere else to go, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of LIFE.” I pray that your vision will become even more singularly fixed as you continue to walk forward. He said, “If I am lifted up, I will draw all men unto me.” Thank you for lifting our gaze up to the only Pure and Perfect One.

  4. Michelle, your words have been echoing in my mind and Spirit since you wrote them. Lord YOU HAVE THE WORDS OF LIFE! No one else can do what God does in our life or be for us who God is. Where He is is where LIFE is, and I am designed to live in that Abundant life, with Abandon. Jason’s legacy is a ground breaking one that God is still pouring out life through. Thank YOU for standing firm on Jesus in the midst of your own tragedy. You have paved the way for so many others, Michelle. Let’s keep looking up!

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